


Into the Fade and the Consequences There Of

by emeraldfrog3



Series: Hawke Just Had That Effect [3]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II
Genre: Angst, Betrayal, Drunk Hawke, F/F, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Mild Smut, Temptation, The Fade, What Have I Done
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-11
Updated: 2016-03-16
Packaged: 2018-05-12 18:38:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5676448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emeraldfrog3/pseuds/emeraldfrog3
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arianni, the mother of Feynriel the half-elf mage, and Keeper Marethari ask for Hawke's help. Feynriel is stuck in the Fade and the risk of possession is real. They need someone he trusts to go in after him, so Hawke is saving the day once again. With many misgivings about entering the Fade, she leads her friends forward.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Fade

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hawke drags Varric, Fenris and Anders into the fade with her to try to rescue Feynriel.

Hawke peered down the hallway. The Fade wasn’t as strange as she expected it to be, just more hazy than normal. She looked around at her companions: Varric had been curious about what the Fade was like, his knowledge limited by the fact he was a dwarf. Fenris was not comfortable here, but she needed his strength. Aveline may not have been available as fast as Feynriel needed them. Anders wasn’t thrilled either but agreed it was better him than Merrill. She stopped as she looked at Anders, the world might be fuzzy around them, but he was glowing.

“I had not thought to return in such a way. It is good to feel the breath of the Fade again, not the empty air of your world.”

“Does that happen to every mage that enters the Fade?” Hawke couldn’t help but make fun of the serious spirit that inhabited her friend. He didn’t seem to grasp her humour.

“I am Justice. Anders has told you of me. Come, I sense Feynriel’s mind straining. We will not have much time.”

Fenris raised an eyebrow at her as Justice stormed ahead of them. Hawke just shrugged it off and followed.

Killing demons was what they were here for and the Fade didn’t disappoint. Sloth came first, it called itself Torpor and tried to tempt Hawke. _My magic will serve that which is best in me, not that which is most base._ Her father’s voice repeated in her mind. She attacked without further discussion. She would make her father proud of her actions when she was in his element, there would be no deals with demons simply to make her job easier.

Next came Desire, who was busy convincing Feynriel that it was his father and that he was wanted by both his parents. Hawke found herself transformed into the image of the elf-blood’s mother. It was an odd sensation, but it allowed her to speak to the young version of Feynriel and remind him of reality. In the end, she gave him enough courage to walk away from the demon on his own free will.

Rage was in the courtyard when they passed through it again. There was no lack of demons in the Fade, but Hawke was thinking more about the surroundings as she fought. It wasn’t like the Fade she had listened to her father describe to Bethany. Although, she would admit she didn’t eavesdrop on the whole lesson. This looked like part Kirkwall but nowhere that she recognized, maybe it was someplace from Feynriel’s memory? Or something else. Trying to understand magic always made her mind hurt, but she loved the way Bethany had always made it appear so beautiful.

Hawke was distracted as she walked into a new illusion. Now she was First Enchanter Orsino. She felt awkward for a moment, then tried not to think about it. It was much better not to question how this place worked. Adult Feynriel and Keeper Marethari stood before a crowd making a speech. Again with a little encouragement, Feynriel realized the deception and told the demon to begone.

Hawke was impressed with the transformation of Keeper Marethari into the true form of Pride. The demon was monstrous almost to the point of ridiculousness. Ten feet of gnarly armour-like scales and spikes with long talons and teeth.

“With my power joined to his, Feynriel would have changed the world!” It snarled at her, glaring through its multiple beady eyes.

“Have you ever seen an abomination? They are **ug** _ly_!” Hawke couldn’t help her snide remark. The overbearingly egotistical-ness of its speech just rubbed her the wrong way, even though she heard Bethany’s voice in the back of her head reminding her that she should never taunt a demon.

“You put such stock in appearances? Perhaps that is why your friends’ loyalty only goes skin deep. You think this slave would choose you over his freedom?”

Hawke opened her mouth, but no sound came out. Pride had stuck a barb in just the right place. She knew she joked too much, but her friends knew she cared for them. She wasn’t like the nobles who would drop someone to keep up appearances. It had picked on Fenris, called him a slave, and for that she wanted to drive her dagger through the demon’s jaw. A trickle of fear gripped her heart, though. She had no claim over the elf, and there was nothing he wanted more than freedom. Relief flooded over her as Fenris stepped forward to answer for himself.

“Cast your eyes elsewhere, demon. I won my freedom from the magisters long ago.”

“But you fear them still. They have left their marks on your body and your mind. With my aid, you could be free forever. You could have power enough to challenge any who would chain you.”

“How transparent can you get?” Hawke laughed as she grinned at Fenris, covering her insecurities with jokes again, but she frowned when she saw the look on his face.

“But… to face them as an equal? I...” Fenris replied, the uncertainty making his voice quiver in a way she had never heard before. “What… would you want from me?”

As Fenris’ gaze turned back to Pride, and Hawke felt her heart drop in her chest. The demon’s answer froze her insides.

“A moment of your time, nothing more.”

Fenris drew his sword and swung at her. She jumped back, dodging his blade as she drew her own. Hawke twisted and slid behind Pride, directing her anger at it, hoping if she killed it fast Fenris would stop.

“For justice!” She heard Justice bellow as he charged at the elf, likely forgetting he was in a mage's body, not a warrior's.

Hawke didn’t have time to look as she drew the demon’s attention on herself. She called out for Ze’ev then cursed, remembering that they were in the Fade and her normal tag team with her mabari wouldn’t work. She managed to keep herself out of the path of the deadly claws for the most part, before finally sinking both daggers into the beast’s chest.

“Broody got the mage!” Varric yelled as Pride fell hard to the ground. On the other side of the courtyard, Anders was on the ground as well.

One of Varric’s bursting arrows exploded on Fenris’ armour as he charged at the dwarf. Hawke had to stop him. Whatever he had been, he was no longer her Fenris. She rushed between the two, blades drawn and ready to defend against his attack. Even with the demon slain, he did not slow his sword as it slashed at her. His movements were sloppy, rage controlling him. She dodged his sword easily and deflected what blows she could not evade.

“Fenris, that’s enough!” Hawke spat at him, fear rising in her chest as she thought of having to kill him. She didn’t know if she could do it.

“Come on kid, you can’t do this forever!” Varric yelled to her, trying to put her on the offensive as he searched for a clear shot.

She narrowly missed a swipe of his blade, and her balance was lost as she fell to the ground. Fury lit his eyes as he loomed over her. She prayed to the Maker that it ended quickly. She closed her eyes and braced herself, but the killing blow never came. Anders had saved her, a barrier erected between her and Fenris. It seemed her friends were tired of letting her handle this on her own.

“End it now, or we will.” Justice’s voice came from her friend’s mouth, and Hawke knew it was time to finish this. Fenris was not coming back to her.

It was so easy. She stood as the barrier was lifted. One wild swing from him, and she stepped in close, with one precise movement driving her long dagger up into his rib cage. There was a moment as they stood nose to nose, she could see the realization dawn in his eyes. With a wisp of fog, his body evaporated as he woke from the Fade, leaving Hawke standing there alone. It was done.

“Is everyone alright?” She asked quietly, the room now eerily still after the fierce battle that had just taken place. She didn’t wait for an answer as she walked back into the hallway.

“Let’s finish this.” Hawke was done: no more floating books, no more demons, and no more deaths. The faster they found Feynriel now, the faster they could get out of the bloody Fade.


	2. The Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After coming out of the Fade, Fenris made the briefest of apologies and then runs. Hawke lets Varric talk her into coming into the Hanged Man but can't bare to stay long. She makes her way home, tired and frustrated, only to find Isabela waiting for her.

Hawke moaned as Isabela’s mouth dominated hers. The strong taste of rum still on her lips probably helped convince her to have some of what the pirate called “girly fun.” Isabela’s tunic and assorted blades were scattered across the floor of her bedroom as she tugged at Hawke’s shirt.

_Isabela stood in the middle of the parlor, describing the charms of low town, and all Hawke could think about was Fenris’ eyes as she stabbed him in the Fade. The shots she had downed at the Hanged Man had barely numbed her, and she felt that what little effect they had was nullified by the walk back to Hightown._

_Now Isabela was purring something about the sound of a whore plying her trade in the back alley of Lowtown like it was a symphony. Hawke wasn’t really paying attention but her voice made goosebumps rise on her neck, her pirate friend always had a love of the sensual. Isabela’s gaze was intense from where she leaned as if she owned the place. Hawke could feel heat rising on her cheeks, not sure whether it was the alcohol from earlier or the hungry eyes fixed on her. Isabela stepped close to her, as close as she had been to Fenris before._

_“Why don’t you and I just have some girly fun?”_

_“What, like shopping?” Hawke couldn’t help but smirk as she joked back, Isabela’s presence so close pushing all other thoughts aside._

_“Us, together. Telling secrets, exploring each other’s hidden… depths.”_

_The words rolled from her seductive mouth like waves down Hawke’s spine. It made her mouth go dry. She cleared her throat in the moment of quiet, suddenly feeling warmth spread through her body. Perhaps with Isabela’s company, she could forget about today._

_“When you put it that way, how could I refuse?” She asked softly._

Hawke sucked in a mouthful of air as Isabela kissed down her neck to her exposed chest, sending fire through her veins. Her fingers threaded through her hair as she nibbled along her collarbone. She wondered what it would be like to have Fenris’ hand running up her thigh instead of Isabela’s in that moment.

“Fe-ah! Bela,” She hissed, turning her head away as a sudden wave a shame flooded her face. An unpleasant chill ran through her stomach. Isabela’s touches became less enjoyable in that moment, coloured by her guilt.

The feisty pirate lifted her head from her kisses and frowned a little. She reached up to stroke Hawke’s cheek, turning her face back to her. Her eyes widened with surprise for a moment as she recognized the expression on Hawke’s face.

“You goose! There is something else going on, isn’t there?” Isabela rolled off of her to sit on the bed beside her. Still she pulled Hawke’s chin up just enough so she could still look at her in the eyes. There was kindness in her face that Hawke hadn’t expected.

“Bela…” Hawke whined despite the guilt her touch had felt so good and she didn’t want to lose the warmth of her body against her.

“No, sweetie. You are wanting someone else tonight, and as delicious as you are, you’d regret this in the morning if we went further. It’s all over your face.” She couldn’t help but lean down and give Hawke one more soft kiss. “You do tease me so.” She sighed but continued to smile at her.

Hawke looked away, Isabella was right. She wanted to be wrapped in Fenris’ arms. She wanted everything to be back to what is was before he had betrayed her, and she had killed him in the Fade. She wanted the accidental touches and the awkward moment. And she wanted more from him, even if he wasn’t hers to have. She wanted to feel good like she knew Isabela could make her feel, but Bela was right if they kept going there would be a lot of regret when she sobered. She struggled silently to get her emotions back in line, and kept her head down, not wanting Isabela to see more of the chaos that was going on in her head.

“Now tell your feisty temptress what is the matter. Do I need to kill someone?” Isabela laughed softly. She slid her arms under Hawke and pulled her into her lap. She grabbed at the blankets and wrapped them around them as well so they were in a cosy bear hug.

Hawke groaned and buried her face into Isabela’s neck, seeking the comfort of her warmth. She was glad that she was still willing to give that after the abrupt stop she had brought to their passion. Isabela’s willingness to kill for her was endearing too. How to explain that not only she had gone into the Fade but what happened there as well, eluded her at that moment. She took some time to gather her thoughts, Isabela didn’t seem to mind but, the fingers running through her short hair did make it difficult to concentrate.

Isabela continued to hold Hawke as the unbelievable story rolled out in shaky waves. She held off her disbelief, only putting in one or two of her own questions about the Fade. When she told her about Fenris’ betrayal, she had to force herself to stay calm and in the bed. Isabela very much wanted to kick down the lanky elf’s door and give him a sharp piece of her mind. But would she have managed any better? For power to settle her debts with Castillon or even just her own ship again, she might have made the same bargain. For a long time after Hawke finish, she just held her as she shook. She was a little surprised that Hawke wasn’t crying against her shoulder with all the emotion that had been in her voice.

“Oh deary, it has been quite a day for you, hasn't it?” Isabela kissed the top of her head. Hawke stirred but answered with only a nod. “Normally I would suggest that I could kiss it all better, but you’ve fallen hard for him.” She stated. It was a fact, even if Hawke couldn’t see it herself. The way Hawke stiffened in her arms let her know that she was still trying to deny that fact to herself. “I will stay here tonight if you want, just so you are not alone, but you have to promise you will go talk to him.”

“You are a true friend, Bela. Not half as heartless as you make yourself out to be.” Hawke murmured, her voice rough from the overwhelming emotions still.

“Don’t go spreading that around. But if he hurts you, I’ll cut off his balls.”

Hawke couldn’t help but laugh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Isabela's romance scene was triggered right when I finished Night Terrors on this last play through. I couldn't help but to write what I felt my poor tortured Hawke would have gone through.


	3. The Apology

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Isabela's prompting Hawke goes to speak to Fenris.

Hawke steeled herself before she entered Fenris’ mansion. Isabela had stayed most of the night, distracting her with nonsense and silliness. She prattled on about her romances and teaching Merrill to gamble, but when she left made her promise to visit Fenris. So here she was.

Fenris heard her coming and met her at the door to his room. There was no friendly greeting, no half smile. They stood there looking at each other for what seemed to Hawke to be an eternity. The tension between them was palatable. Finally, Fenris broke the silence.

“Why did you take me into the fade?” His eyes narrowed as he quickly turned away to hide the anger on his face, but it still slipped into his voice.

“If you didn’t want to come you should have said so.” It came out harsher than she had intended but his tone stung more than she had expected. She groaned in frustration and kicked at the ground. “I needed you, Fenris. M-maybe I should have waited for Aveline, I don’t know. But I wanted you there... You’re more fun fight with.” She tried to end on a lighter note but came out pathetically weak. She couldn’t even bring herself to look at him so she stared at her feet instead.

“You found it easy enough to drive your dagger into my heart.”

Hawke clenched her fist, feeling fire rise in her veins. She wanted to scream or to punch him. Something. She unclenched her fist and managed to speak with an even voice.

“And you found it easy enough to stab me in the back.” She wanted to turn and flee,--she shouldn’t have let Isabela convince her this was a good idea--but her feet wouldn’t obey her.

There was a long silence but she could hear Fenris’ feet on the floor as he turned to her again.

“I must apologize for my weakness. That a demon could have played so easily on my fears… disturbs me.” His voice was low and full of self-doubt that Hawke had not heard from him before.

His doubt was something she could relate with, it sounded so like her own that she had been going over again and again in her head. She steadied her breathing, still wanting to stab something but she needed a calm head now.

“Everyone gets one free demonic possession before I hold it against them.” She made an exaggerated shrug.

Fenris stared blankly at her and started to laugh. “Good to know,” he choked out as he regained his composure.

Hawke felt her chest relax as he laughed, the tension between them evaporating. “I am sorry for what happened in the Fade.” She leaned against the door frame, watching him as he walked back into the room.

“I know. Let’s just hope we face nothing similar in the future.” He motioned for her to join him as he sat, picking up a book that he had abandoned by the fireplace. “As for the boy, we shall see what he becomes, and if he regrets the mercy you provided. But that’s not important now. Would help me with this passage?”

Hawke smiled to herself, maybe Bela had been right about her falling for him. She took the book and sat beside him as she looked at the passage in question. It was good to know that their friendship could withstand this. Still, it was probably best for all parties if she kept the pirate’s threats to herself.


End file.
